Have you ever had a break up where you knew the relationship was toxic, but you struggled with letting it go? Whether it was a love relationship or just a friend, your mind keeps going back to why didn't it work out or I miss him so much! You make a list of good points versus bad.
It's obvious that the damage from the minus side was taking its toll on you. This person is not going to change, but your monkey mind is holding on tight making you miserable with wanting what isn't working. You have an idea of how your life or the world SHOULD be and life just isn't cooperating with you.
How do you handle it? Do you get upset with yourself for not being able to logically let go & move on? What's the deal? You're a bright educated person here. Why does do you still feel so crappy about this?
Or do you allow for that resistance to change? Allow for those human feelings and emotions. Allow for the grief of unmet hopes & dreams or for loss. Allow for what is.
So many of us get stuck in the why didn't it work out? Why doesn't ___ (s/he, your parents, a friend...) love/treat me the way I need to be loved/treated? Why do other people do things that hurt me?
What if for one moment, you gave yourself permission to feel those feelings without judgement? What could be possible - self acceptance, less pain, even contentment?
The next time the emotional flood gates open and you find yourself saying "Why do I still feel this way?" - Try something new. Give yourself permission to feel those feelings. Notice them, give them some attention. "Oh! You're back again, hello - How long do you plan to visit?" They are just like an errant child who isn't getting the attention s/he wants. These feelings keep yelling and screaming. Every time you slam the door in their faces, they get louder and louder with each denial that they should still exist.
You might even try scheduling time to invite these thoughts back in. By giving your mind permission to have these feelings, rational to you or not, it takes away the power they have over you. You are accepting what is.
After all - That which we resists, persists!
Have you tried something that works for you?
I'd love hearing from you. Feel free to leave a comment.
As always, contact Jude for more information on how to love the skin you're in and live a life you love!
The title ~ "There is more to life than increasing its speed." is a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. I wonder what he would think about the frenetic multi-tasking pace of today's world? What does it bring up for you?
Are you tired of trying to accomplish more in the same 24 hours that you've always been allotted? Tired of being "on call" 24/7 due to cell phones, text messaging, and social media? Do it yesterday, fax it now, make every conversation about how you can promote a new business deal?
Today is Sunday, March 20, the first day of spring. Have you noticed the blooming trees and daffodils? REALLY noticed? Today, I hope you took some time out for yourself to recharge and renew. Notice the little things, spread the light by paying someone a compliment, and give yourself permission to unplug for a while. Last night we had the wonder of the big beautiful moon. If you missed it, quick go look now. Just standing in your own back yard under the moon-shine connecting with all of life can be quite an enjoyable experience if you allow it.
What do I mean "if you allow it"? Surrender all thoughts about what you could, should, or feel you need to be doing right now. In the words of Ram Dass, "Be here Now". Spend some time in meditation, reconnect to your inner self, and spread that connection to the Universe. Giving yourself more time is precisely that~giving your "self" more time (Eckhart Tolle). Get to know yourself again (or maybe for the first time?) by reconnecting with the beauty and wonder of the world. Embrace your inner creativity without any particular goal in mind. Eek! Does that feel scary?
Get some watercolors and paint like you did as a child. Remember dipping your brush in a cup of water then rolling the brush in a dry color until it looked just the right vibrancy? Swirling your brush over the clean white surface of paper? How proud you were to show your masterpiece to your mom, dad, or siblings?
Did you write stories or poetry? How would it feel to try that now? If it seems difficult, write from your 15 year old heart, then progress slowly to the present. You don't have to show it to anyone unless you want to. Do it for the joy of it. No judgement. Just the desire to connect with your heart. The Spirit Within.
Do this regularly. It may be just sitting and communing with nature or taking pictures. Don't make it a struggle-just allow yourself some time and space to be or engage in a creative outlet. Your family and friends will begin notice a difference and I think that you will to.
"There is more to life than increasing its speed." What could that look like for you?
In connection, peace and joy ~ Inner Peace Warrior for the Soul ~ Jude
