Sunday, March 29, 2009

Think Before You Speak

"If you think twice before speaking once, you will speak twice the better for it. - William Penn

The idea of choosing your words carefully sounds easy enough, but how many times do you end up with your foot in your mouth? Everyone can probably recall a situation where someone offended them by saying something rude or out of line. These comments are not only embarrassing, but they can also damage relationships.... If you say the wrong thing in front of others, chances are that people will remember it. Wouldn't you prefer to be remembered for something more positive? Once you have said something out loud it cannot be taken back, and rarely can it be undone even with a tremendous amount of work." (from healthy reflections)

This advice is great to remember, especially for spur of the moment conversations- for example: a colleague has drops in unexpectedly and starts complaining about the boss or another colleague. The temptation may be to join in the complaining as a form of sympathy or support. Before you know it Complainer number 1 talks to another colleague and attributes the complaint to you or says that you support his/her complaints. All of a sudden this gets back to the boss and you're in the middle of it.

What do you want to put out into the world? Positive energy or negative? So what do you do when temptation comes knocking? When someone else brings it to you, how can you stop the flow?

Take a step back, mentally & physically out of the complainer's energy space.

Firmly ground yourself with a few deep breaths.

Tell yourself silently, "This is not about me."

Ask yourself,"Is this what I want to be remembered for?"

Remember: There are no do-overs. Once it leaves your lips, someone will remember.

Say to the complainer, "I hear your frustration. Have you spoken to __ about this? (direct them back to the source of their venting).

If you feel strong enough, say "I cannot be party to this negative energy, but I'd be happy to keep your highest and best in mind for a positive resolution."

So think twice, speak once.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Cultivate your inner garden

"Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses.
- Norman Vincent Peale
In order to grow anything in a garden, a lot of factors must come into play--properly planting the seeds or flowers into the soil, watering, weeding, fertilizing, and ensuring adequate sunlight. Are you tending to your own goals in the same fashion? Getting that new job takes determination and positive vision to make that dream a reality. Do you believe in your abilities? Believing is a wonderful, powerful tool but it takes more than that. You've got to fight the elements, take good care of yourself, and dig down deep for courage in order for your seeds to be cultivated into success."
(from healthy reflections)

What are the seeds of change you are trying to plant? Are the conditions just right? Are you hanging with the people who emulate these same goals or qualities in their lives? Do you mindfully watch what you let into your thoughts? Only let in those ideas that are positive and that will pull you forward into a life you love. Weed out--or reframe those thoughts that come to you as negative and drain on your energy. What do you mean you may ask. An example: While working with one of my coaches, I commented on the idea that it takes me a long time to think about, research new ideas and goals such as changing jobs, retirement, or moving. She quickly reframed for me by saying "You mean you're a really thorough planner?" Whoa! That brought me up short. I loved seeing it in that light. I liked being a thorough planner.

Do you believe you can have a life that will make you smile from the inside out? Add the nutrients to the soil of your garden to help "grow" what you want. Play to your strengths and values. Align everything in your garden to your authentic self for maximum growth, bloom, and endurance. Do you know your strengths? If not--ask 5-10 of your friends to list what they see as your strengths. Are there reoccurring themes? Do you know what you stand for and want to promote (your values)? Who are some people famous or personal that you admire? What qualities do they exemplify that you'd like in your life? Want to cultivate these in your life too? Take one quality, like independence, and weave it into everything you do and say. Affirm that you are already independent and expect that YOU CAN handle things on your own. Try one little thing alone that you wouldn't have before. Build on each success.

Daily sunshine, air, and water--the basics of life. Constant vigilance to weed out what no longer serves you (negative thoughts, people, or drains in your life) is necessary. Fertilize your Soul & Spirit by aligning with your true Be-ing & Source. Enjoy the fragrance of life in full bloom!

Need help with this? I'd love to chat with you!

Jude Eastman ~ Life and Soul Coach

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Keeping to True Center

Trusting in my true Source or the Universe, I know that I am complete and on the right path always. When things do not turn out as I planned, I don't get deterred or lose my motivation. I turn inward to my higher self and come back to true center in the core of who I am. I reframe my thoughts so that I see things in a positive light and relax into the good that is always there for me. The more I trust in this, the wiser I become. My positive expectations help steer me through the detours of life and onto new roads of discovery. As I continue along on my journey, I rely on the guidance of Spirit to steady my steps. With each decision, I come to several doors. I close my eyes put my hand over my heart, and take a deep breath and consult my wise inner knowing. Whichever door I open will lead to a path that can only bless me. Turning around to face my greatness, I realize that what might have dissuaded me will prove to be the beginning of a joyful, more fulfilling experience. Does this resonate with you? If not, how do you keep centered? Here's a guided meditation from Dean Ornish's site to bring you back to center.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Grateful for Luxuries

"You'll never miss the water, 'til the well runs dry."- W.C. Handy

Even if you've never seen it, you are probably aware of the CBS reality show Survivor--sixteen castaways sent to live on an island to duke it out and vote one another off for a million dollar prize. What is most striking about this concept is not the competition, but the absolute gratitude these people hold for things we take for granted everyday. The dirty, unpurified water they cling to for life is the same stuff we flush, wash, and cook with everyday without batting an eye. They covet and fight for food that we could easily pop in our microwaves or sit down at a restaurant to order. The very fact that you can read this at your computer signifies that you are one of the most wealthy, educated persons on the planet. Take a moment to think about the luxurious and privileged life you live. Give thanks for a whole body, everyday freedoms, your family, and all of the choices you have. Cherish what you have while you have it because you never know when your life could change. " from Healthy Reflections

Wake up dissatisfied that you don't have the newest car with all the bells and whistles, less money today than yesterday in your investment account, or had to cancelled the upper tier of your cable?

Think about what you do have today. Enough money to pay the bills, basic cable and Internet, and a reliable car that gets you from Point A to Point B.

Today I have not only a high school degree, a BA degree, and in one more month, a Maters degree. I have a full time job with health benefits teaching school and a retirement plan. I was able to afford a full coach training program and have a coaching business. I have the freedom to choose my profession and where I live. I own my home outright and my 7 year old car is paid for, in good condition, and has a garage to be parked in. My trusty companion, a pointer mix dog, is healthy and I can afford veterinarian fees to keep her so. Three grown children are living lives out from under my roof. My laptop had a meltdown this weekend, but I'm grateful that I backed up most of my files on a thumb drive and have a generous loving son who helped me pick out and install a new hard drive which is humming away.

A few years ago I would have given thanks that I had a wonderful husband of 30+ years and 2 loving parents, but that has since changed. My marriage went by the wayside and my parents made their transitions within months. Does that make me feel lack? I will admit to grieving those losses deeply and fully, but I've found the growth and blessings in them too. I now have a bit of financial security and was able to rediscover the core of who I am and always was. I've learned to tap into my own power and stand in my own light! I have memories that sustain me of those times and have chosen to remember the good and learn from anything that doesn't seem to fit that category. For more on gratitude see

What luxuries do you have today?