Sunday, June 5, 2011

Change Your Thinking - Change Your Life - Really?

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~ Stephen Dolley Jr.

You say you'd like a life where you're feeling no angst over your choices. You'd love your job, have a great relationship that included acceptance and support, you'd live in balance and be able to set boundaries for others and yourself. Do you believe it's possible or do you see all the problems that "might" get in the way?

Some people are so smart, they easily see all the things that could get in the way of their own joy:
  • I can't make the choices I want, because no matter what I choose to do, someone will tell me I'm wrong and criticism doesn't feel good. 
  • All the good men are taken.
  • I have to work overtime in order to succeed. 
  • Work has to come before my family in order to pay the bills.I can't quit this job, I'm in too many years to leave because of the benefits or the retirement program.
  • Just being who I am is not enough in this competitive world.  I have to do or be more.  I have to live up to someone else's expectations and that's just too hard.
  • I'd just rather not rock the boat, it's too scary.
Here's the deal, how badly do you really want a different life or at least a life that feels different?  You have to really want it, be willing to try something out of your comfort zone, be willing to persevere, and really believe that YOU can have/do it.  At the very least, you have to be fed up with how you're feeling  now, have suffered enough loss of ___ (your joy, peace, happiness) to be willing to try something else.

When all those thoughts of why and how this may work for other people, but I can't have it because - crop up - focus on the positive aspects of making it happen. 
  • What would it look like? 
  • What would it feel like? 
  • How will you reward yourself for making this change?
  • Who will be with you when it happens?  
  • See them congratulating you! 

Keep the focus on why you CAN make it happen instead of why you can't.  Take no excuses from your monkey mind any more! 

Do you need some help with this?  Getting started is half the battle.  Enlist a support system of family or friends.  Put into place structures that will remind you this YOUR dream and it is possible.  That may be journaling, mediation, vision boards, scheduling a regular massage.  It may be hiring someone to help - life coach, counselor, baby sitter, or head hunter for that job you want.

We can have an immediate transformation of belief often after a session or two with someone who believes the power of our own innate ability to make these changes.  They stand by us, cheer us on, and give us the tools to not only survive in our present circumstances, but to thrive in the now and work toward the what can be.

A quote that helped turn my thoughts around at a dark time in my life is:

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." ~ Lao Tzu. 

Are you ready to let go of your perception of what you can't have or be?

1 comment:

Val said...

Hi Jude,

Good points - people do need to really want something rather than just having a whim or wanting to please someone else. That desire will provide the fuel to keep you going when the going gets tough. (excuse the pun)