Everyone can teach you something

"Listen to all, plucking a feather from every passing goose, but follow no one absolutely. Chinese proverb

Possible mentors and teachers can be found everywhere and anywhere. Everyone you've met today has something they could teach you--a skill, a bit of wisdom, or a personal secret to success. All you have to do is look for it and ask plenty of questions. Most of all, respect the fact that each person has something of value to offer. If you can't find one "feather" to pluck from someone, you're not looking hard enough. Yet, in the end, you still have to think for yourself. It's still your job to take the knowledge you gain and turn it into your own value system for solid decision-making. It's still up to you to use your skills to carve a unique path in the world. So when night comes, those feathers can make a nice soft pillow that lets you rest your head in peace." sparkpeople.com-healthy reflections

Everyone from our inner circle to those in our external surroundings (home, school, job, community, or world) can offer us something to learn from. Write down the names of some of your closets friends or colleagues. Quickly jot a few key items about them that make them great. What do they add to your life? Which of these items would you like to embody more often? Persistence, grace, balance, organization, honesty, clear communication, and action are a few that come to my mind. Often we dismiss the value of what someone may be able to add to our lives through superficial scrutiny. A colleague at work may be quiet and seems to sit back waiting for instructions instead of asking what they can do and you've judged them as not adding to the positive work environment. Do they come to work on time daily? Do they do whatever is asked of them reliably? Maybe they need a role model or someone to gently guide them along on what is expected of them. Do they always speak positively about others and not gossip? Is there something you can pluck out here? Take the time to get to know them better. Is it possible they are just shy until they really get to know others? Maybe they are unsure of where they fit in and don't want to "over-step" their bounds. So look hard, be curious about what makes them tick and you may just learn something new.

Keeping it in Perspective

"The present is what slips by us while we're pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

Is there anything that Ziggy doesn't know? In the cartooning universe, he's often placed in hopeless situations, pitted against a world that doesn't make sense. He's an agreeable punch line for the quirks of human nature. Yet he's able to brush off his mishaps and focus on the opportunities that today brings. He can also look to the future with hope, knowing full well that more struggles may lie ahead. Most of all, he can look at himself and have a good chuckle. Do you make yourself anxious about things that might happen or stew over mistakes you've made? Don't let a preoccupation with tomorrow or yesterday rob your ability to face that crazy world with a smile. For Ziggy, today is today. It's not a good day; it's not a bad day. It's a day. And he knows that it's important to give that day the value it deserves." www.sparkpeople.com, healthy reflections.

Wow! Have you ever made a mountain out of a piece of news before it even happened? You decided that any number of things could happen when XYZ comes to pass. So, in effect, you have invited it TO happen. I certainly have stirred the pot, so to speak, before. What if this news turns out to be the best thing for you; your career or your personal life? Imagine the possibilities that might open up or come about because of it: new found success, confidence, friends, colleagues, and growth as a spiritual being having a human experience. Just sit in that for a moment...Feeling the love yet? Even if you aren't, remember that even speaking about the possible negative consequences open the Universe up to granting those ideas power in your life.

Next time you hear something and have an immediate knee jerk reaction to it consider this: immediately be thankful that this might happen, journal about the positive possibilities, make a vision board of what you DO want to happen, and speak only in positive terms about it. There's an old saying that goes "You'll catch more flies with honey"--catch the highest and best life has to offer you right now. Know that it's being offered to you in ways you may never have imagined and keep it all in perspective.

Take the Leap--Believe In Yourself

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.- John Wooden, Hall of Fame college basketball coach

"Limitations can either define us or give us a challenge to outwit. When you look at your abilities, do you see boundaries and limits, or do you see possibilities and potential? Obsessing about weaknesses can blind us to the untapped abilities we already have. You have talent. Everyone does. The secret to success is to find that talent, develop it and push it as far as you can. Grandma Moses might have been a lousy bowler, Einstein probably couldn't sing a lick, Michelangelo could've been unable to speak well in public. So what? They knew what they were good at and rode that pony. Your talent might be right in front of you: where do you get the most compliments? What seems to come easily to you? What do people ask your advice for? Live there. Don't let the rest get in the way." (From http://sparkpeople.com/ healthy reflections)

First, admit it--you have strengths! We all have something we are good at. Acknowledge them. If you can't think of what they are, ask your friends to tell you. Then, share this with others--leverage it to your advantage. Does this mean forget about trying other stuff? Learning a new skill that will takes us to a new level? NEVER! But our insecurities get the best of us now and then and even get in our way, telling us, I've got to work harder, longer, later. I need to be perfect/or at least REALLY good, or others will see me for the fraud that I am. I've never done this before--what if I fail? OK-What if? What's the worst that can happen or better yet, the best if we step out on the ledge with nervous anticipation in a new learning experience?

Will people see a fraud, or someone willing to take a risk/grow and learn while sharing their strengths with the world? Setting the bar for those who come after you or walking along side of you. I am thankful for the opportunity to work with so many knowledgeable others while on my own journey who teach me that we all have something to learn. What are the possibilities that we can be come good, even great at something we have no experience in now?

I want to learn to trust the journey--to allow for my greatness....It will always bring me exactly where I need to BE.

Your turn, "I want to learn ............because it will bring me........."

3 Days and Counting!

After a little over 3 years of life changing events and start to finish graduate work, I am about to reach the place where a diploma is given for learning, growth, and understanding. Not to mention endurance and perseverance! In less than 3 days I will have completed my masters program as a reading specialist and love how it has improved my own teaching in my classroom reading groups. Being able to offer children what they need at their own particular level of reading development has helped them better able to become independent learners. My own personal growth has come in seeing myself as a fully capable learner in my mid 50s, fully participating and adding to discussion with my peers has been both challenging and rewarding, but I now know that I have it in me to pursue whatever it is that I desire to learn and apply in my life. One paper to go--and I'm ready to graduate and celebrate! I have given myself permission to bask in the glow of this accomplishment instead of saying this opens up time to XYZ next. Oh believe me, there will be XYZ coming, but I am learning to pat myself on the back, allow myself space to breathe and say "Look what you've done girl! I'm proud of you!" without the need to think--"this isn't enough" yet. I am enough, right here - right now.

Think Before You Speak

"If you think twice before speaking once, you will speak twice the better for it. - William Penn

The idea of choosing your words carefully sounds easy enough, but how many times do you end up with your foot in your mouth? Everyone can probably recall a situation where someone offended them by saying something rude or out of line. These comments are not only embarrassing, but they can also damage relationships.... If you say the wrong thing in front of others, chances are that people will remember it. Wouldn't you prefer to be remembered for something more positive? Once you have said something out loud it cannot be taken back, and rarely can it be undone even with a tremendous amount of work." (from www.sparkpeople.com healthy reflections)

This advice is great to remember, especially for spur of the moment conversations- for example: a colleague has drops in unexpectedly and starts complaining about the boss or another colleague. The temptation may be to join in the complaining as a form of sympathy or support. Before you know it Complainer number 1 talks to another colleague and attributes the complaint to you or says that you support his/her complaints. All of a sudden this gets back to the boss and you're in the middle of it.

What do you want to put out into the world? Positive energy or negative? So what do you do when temptation comes knocking? When someone else brings it to you, how can you stop the flow?

Take a step back, mentally & physically out of the complainer's energy space.

Firmly ground yourself with a few deep breaths.

Tell yourself silently, "This is not about me."

Ask yourself,"Is this what I want to be remembered for?"

Remember: There are no do-overs. Once it leaves your lips, someone will remember.

Say to the complainer, "I hear your frustration. Have you spoken to __ about this? (direct them back to the source of their venting).

If you feel strong enough, say "I cannot be party to this negative energy, but I'd be happy to keep your highest and best in mind for a positive resolution."

So think twice, speak once.

Visit my Coaching site

Would you like help cultivating your own inner garden that makes your heart sing? I'd love to connect with you~message me at jude@stirringthespiritwithin.com

Cultivate your inner garden

"Plant seeds of expectation in your mind; cultivate thoughts that anticipate achievement. Believe in yourself as being capable of overcoming all obstacles and weaknesses.
- Norman Vincent Peale
In order to grow anything in a garden, a lot of factors must come into play--properly planting the seeds or flowers into the soil, watering, weeding, fertilizing, and ensuring adequate sunlight. Are you tending to your own goals in the same fashion? Getting that new job takes determination and positive vision to make that dream a reality. Do you believe in your abilities? Believing is a wonderful, powerful tool but it takes more than that. You've got to fight the elements, take good care of yourself, and dig down deep for courage in order for your seeds to be cultivated into success." (from sparkpeople.com healthy reflections)

What are the seeds of change you are trying to plant? Are the conditions just right? Are you hanging with the people who emulate these same goals or qualities in their lives? Do you mindfully watch what you let into your thoughts? Only let in those ideas that are positive and that will pull you forward into a life you love. Weed out--or reframe those thoughts that come to you as negative and drain on your energy. What do you mean you may ask. An example: While working with one of my coaches, I commented on the idea that it takes me a long time to think about, research new ideas and goals such as changing jobs, retirement, or moving. She quickly reframed for me by saying "You mean you're a really thorough planner?" Whoa! That brought me up short. I loved seeing it in that light. I liked being a thorough planner.

Do you believe you can have a life that will make you smile from the inside out? Add the nutrients to the soil of your garden to help "grow" what you want. Play to your strengths and values. Align everything in your garden to your authentic self for maximum growth, bloom, and endurance. Do you know your strengths? If not--ask 5-10 of your friends to list what they see as your strengths. Are there reoccurring themes? Do you know what you stand for and want to promote (your values)? Who are some people famous or personal that you admire? What qualities do they exemplify that you'd like in your life? Want to cultivate these in your life too? Take one quality, like independence, and weave it into everything you do and say. Affirm that you are already independent and expect that YOU CAN handle things on your own. Try one little thing alone that you wouldn't have before. Build on each success.

Daily sunshine, air, and water--the basics of life. Constant vigilance to weed out what no longer serves you (negative thoughts, people, or drains in your life) is necessary. Fertilize your Soul & Spirit by aligning with your true Be-ing & Source. Enjoy the fragrance of life in full bloom!

Need help with this? I'd love to chat with you!

Jude Eastman ~ Life and Soul Coach
http://stirringthespiritwithin.com/

Keeping to True Center

Trusting in my true Source or the Universe, I know that I am complete and on the right path always. When things do not turn out as I planned, I don't get deterred or lose my motivation. I turn inward to my higher self and come back to true center in the core of who I am. I reframe my thoughts so that I see things in a positive light and relax into the good that is always there for me. The more I trust in this, the wiser I become. My positive expectations help steer me through the detours of life and onto new roads of discovery. As I continue along on my journey, I rely on the guidance of Spirit to steady my steps. With each decision, I come to several doors. I close my eyes put my hand over my heart, and take a deep breath and consult my wise inner knowing. Whichever door I open will lead to a path that can only bless me. Turning around to face my greatness, I realize that what might have dissuaded me will prove to be the beginning of a joyful, more fulfilling experience. Does this resonate with you? If not, how do you keep centered?

http://www.pmri.org/spectrum/guided_meditations.html Here's a guided meditation from Dean Ornish's site to bring you back to center.

Grateful for Luxuries

"You'll never miss the water, 'til the well runs dry."- W.C. Handy

Even if you've never seen it, you are probably aware of the CBS reality show Survivor--sixteen castaways sent to live on an island to duke it out and vote one another off for a million dollar prize. What is most striking about this concept is not the competition, but the absolute gratitude these people hold for things we take for granted everyday. The dirty, unpurified water they cling to for life is the same stuff we flush, wash, and cook with everyday without batting an eye. They covet and fight for food that we could easily pop in our microwaves or sit down at a restaurant to order. The very fact that you can read this at your computer signifies that you are one of the most wealthy, educated persons on the planet. Take a moment to think about the luxurious and privileged life you live. Give thanks for a whole body, everyday freedoms, your family, and all of the choices you have. Cherish what you have while you have it because you never know when your life could change. " from Sparkpeople.com Healthy Reflections

Wake up dissatisfied that you don't have the newest car with all the bells and whistles, less money today than yesterday in your investment account, or had to cancelled the upper tier of your cable?

Think about what you do have today. Enough money to pay the bills, basic cable and Internet, and a reliable car that gets you from Point A to Point B.

Today I have not only a high school degree, a BA degree, and in one more month, a Maters degree. I have a full time job with health benefits teaching school and a retirement plan. I was able to afford a full coach training program and have a coaching business. I have the freedom to choose my profession and where I live. I own my home outright and my 7 year old car is paid for, in good condition, and has a garage to be parked in. My trusty companion, a pointer mix dog, is healthy and I can afford veterinarian fees to keep her so. Three grown children are living lives out from under my roof. My laptop had a meltdown this weekend, but I'm grateful that I backed up most of my files on a thumb drive and have a generous loving son who helped me pick out and install a new hard drive which is humming away.

A few years ago I would have given thanks that I had a wonderful husband of 30+ years and 2 loving parents, but that has since changed. My marriage went by the wayside and my parents made their transitions within months. Does that make me feel lack? I will admit to grieving those losses deeply and fully, but I've found the growth and blessings in them too. I now have a bit of financial security and was able to rediscover the core of who I am and always was. I've learned to tap into my own power and stand in my own light! I have memories that sustain me of those times and have chosen to remember the good and learn from anything that doesn't seem to fit that category. For more on gratitude see DailyOm.com

What luxuries do you have today?

http://www.stirringthespiritwithin.com/

Shining Your Light on a Friend's Shade

"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.

- Emily Kimbrough

You can't turn on a country music station without hearing a song about someone down on their luck. But what about those around you? Think about how much it means to you to receive a note in the mail from a caring friend when you're going through a hard time. Use those warm feelings to compel you to spread the love to others. We all need such encouragement and often we forget that it's okay not to be the pillar of strength when life has us by the tail. Throw your arms around someone today who might need a good squeeze, send a card to a co-worker who needs cheering up, or bake a special treat for your ill child. Friends are precious, not just in the sunshine of life, but especially in the shade." (Sparkpeople.com Healthy Reflection 2-1-09)

Taking those few extra moments to give emotionally or spiritually to someone else is paying it forward in Universal Love. Be part of the solution and energy grid--positive energy. Then when your battery is low--plug in and "ask".

That's the part so many of us refuse to do. We'll give and give, but if we're a bit low, had a bad day, lost our focus on the synergy available to us, we hole up and isolate. I'm learning that my friends want nothing more than to give back to me when I need some centering, positive energy, or an attitude adjustment. Who am I to deny their gift to me? It really is a rude thing to do. So surrender your pride or ego to the cosmos, open up your heart and soul and ask for a "Little Help from Your Friends" (remember that song- "I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends?" Ask and receive a big hug of pure white Love from the the One Source.

Then shine your light on all those around you!

Even more good stuff, see dailyom.com

The power of having a dream and a vision

" One person working toward a dream is worth 99 people just working.

- Lani Kraus, writer

We've all worked with people who just show up to fill space. Uninspired and stuck going through the motions, they pick up a paycheck on Monday and wait for Friday. Some are just killing time until retirement. Maybe you even find yourself in this mindset. Not a very satisfying way to spend your days is it? Sounds like an easy life--except that in life, retirement can be permanent and unexpected. In your life, are you actively heading straight for your goals, or are you puttering around vaguely? Nothing is wrong with hard work; determination and elbow grease are what make the best dreams possible. But it's interesting that most work makes us look downward, while dreams lift our eyes to the sky. While you're keeping that nose to the grindstone, make sure you keep your head up to see where you're going." sparkpeople.com

The end/beginning of the year is one of many times to reflect on your vision and dreams. Do you see your dreams as just that - Not real or illusive and unattainable? You can have what you want, but do you want it enough to work hard for it? It may not be as hard as you imagine. Think of one way to bring more of what you dream for your life in to it - Right Now. Start making those vacation plans you've always hoped for, and be very specific about what you want and how to achieve it.

Close your eyes now--take a deep breath--play a movie of what it will be like--be very sensory specific: the sights, sounds, smells, and tactile sensations. Write it all down. Can you have some of that in your present situation? Buy some clothes that you will wear on this vacation. Cut pictures out that represent it and make your vision board. Look it it regularly and be there in the moment.

Are you living a life in alignment with your values? What is your vision for the next 3--6 months? How about 5-20 years? I've spent much of my life just living in reaction to whatever happened, but not choosing what I wanted and going for it. Be a Chooser, not a victim. (This thought taken from a current book I'm reading called Conscious Dating by David Steel.) If you haven't pinpointed your values--now is the perfect time to do it. Then make conscious choices to create a vision for your life, short term and long, and start living it. If it seems overwhelming, take baby steps--Start moving forward instead of meandering around in a lateral maze.

Do you feel something's holding you back from past issues? If so, get the appropriate help with this. If you are ready to go forward, but not quite sure how, hire a life coach. After a session or two, you may feel ready to fly on your own or take it to the next level.

Take your dream, create a vision, and map out how to get there. Baby steps are fine or a great big ole jump if you feel urge. See you in my dreams!

Seeing the wonder in the smallest details

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.
- Albert Einstein, physicist


What do you appreciate and what do you ignore? Is a sunrise any less special because its image wouldn't make it on a magazine cover? Is any day less precious because, in your mind, "nothing special" happened? For some reason, it's hard to be impressed with anything these days. Driving a car is a source of strain instead of wonder. The internet is already old news. Quick--when was the last time you paid attention to a space shuttle flight? Remember when that was all people could talk about? Once you take something for granted, you also take the life out of it. When nothing is "special," boredom and gloom aren't far behind. Look around where you're sitting right now, and try to see it for the first time, like a child would. Think about the human potential that created the stuff in the room. Think about the miracles of nature right outside your window. Think about how amazing it is that you're even here to see it. dailyom.com

Even the Grinchi-est of us can stop, smell the spiced cider, the fresh evergreen, (OK-so you don't have a real tree--go outside!), the recent huge full rising moon. For me the little things in life make it all worthwhile. The kiss of my dog when I get home, the sparkle of the lights during this season. Appreciate, really appreciate what you have now. If you don't have the money to buy expensive gifts, give the gift of love. Write letters to those in your life that are there for you. Tell them how much you appreciate all that they do. Even those people who irritate you. Surely there's something about them you can appreciate. It will come back to you ten fold. Be the candle in the mirror--Be the change you wish to see.~Here's my wish for you~Let your heart glow with the light that is of you!

This is the season of light, a time when hearts are aglow. I picture the image of a light that holds my attention. It may be a streetlight with sparkling snow flurries whirling past it. Perhaps I see sunlight creating prisms on a snow's glittering surface or moonlight moving shadows across a meadow dusted in white. My image may be of a single candle lit in the window with an intention of holiness. In this stillness, I reflect upon the light. I breathe and relax. All is tranquil, prayerful.

This is a time of insight, radiance, and joy. I give thanks in advance for love, sharing, and guidance. I realize I can let my own inner light shine out more brightly. With wisdom and kindness, I make a difference in the lives of many.
dailyword.com

If you're not feeling amazed and amazing--the light and the love--what changes do you want to make in your life?

Contact me--Let's stir your spirit within. jude@stirringthespiritwithin.com

The destructive power of worry

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.

- Corrie Ten Boom, author and human rights activist

Legend has it that 90% of what we worry about never comes to pass. Whether that is statistically precise or not, there's probably some truth to it in your life. How much of our lives do we miss because we're agonizing over what might happen down the road? How often do we fail to act--even if it's the right thing to do--because we fear any number of possible consequences? Fretting over the future doesn't solve any impending problems. It only paralyzes your actions of the present. It stresses you out, makes you mentally and physically tired, and saps all the fun out of what could have been another great day. Next time you start to worry about what might happen, think of this: You can prepare, but you cannot predict. So do what you can and forget what you cannot. Sparkpeople.com

So often we "assume" to know what someone else is thinking, will do, or what his/her motivations are. Most of the time we are projecting what we think and believe. We get all worked up over something said, let stuff get in our head and eat away at us. Just for a moment, think what it would be like if there were no ulterior motives, no reason behind the action or words other than a flat out observation of what is. Right now in this moment. Reality.

Recently, I made a simple conversation into a, "it's all about me". What I thought was going to happen, what I wanted to happen or not happen, and how dare ___ even think that. Ha! In my head, machinations twisted me around like crazy. I complained to all my best friends about it. They worried and checked in on my mental state. Guess what?--it wasn't about me at all. It never was. Damn! Suckered in to the black hole again.

Step back--Stay in the light. Be totally present. Make no assumptions. Love what is.

Tackling big challenges with small actions

"We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.
- Calvin Coolidge, American president

This is a perfect illustration of tackling big challenges with small actions. It also shows the power of focus. There's a growing tendency for people to want to have it all. Not wanting to sacrifice anything, they run themselves straight into the ground--sometimes literally--only to end up frustrated, unhealthy, and tired, with nothing to show for it. What they don't realize is that you can have it all (or close to it). You just can't have it all right now. Does it feel like you're always busy, but you never seem to get anywhere? That's because when you try to do everything, you don't do anything well. Your child may force you to learn this lesson anyway. Instead of living your life all at once, try doing one thing at a time. Choose one goal and, through some small "things" every day, focus in on it until you've succeeded. During the day, put your full mind and efforts on one task at a time. You'll be much more productive (and calm) in the long run. sparkpeople

Spend ten minutes planning that goal and some actions steps. Get a notebook just for your goals. Once you get started, you may not stop at ten minutes, but schedule that ten minutes daily or 4 times a week. That way it doesn't seem intimidating. Then how will you be accountable to yourself for making the time? Get an accountability buddy (a friend you will e-mail to when you've taken a step each week. If they don't hear from you, they'll be asking "What have you done toward ____ this week?"

Often if I say I will exercise for 15 min., if I get started, I have no problem stretching that to 30 minutes. It's getting started. I have a goal to book a vacation for myself to reward the last 3 years of school work and completion of my masters degree. So I've spent 10-15 min. several times a week looking at my options. Once I choose my destination and mode of transport, then I will start rounding up reservations and tickets. Hmmm...Hawaii or a cruise to a tropical island? More on that later!

Like the commercial says -- Just do it! Baby steps will get you there - No action won't.

I did it! I really did it!

Crack out the Yipeee Girl! I finished my comprehensive exam for my master's degree as a reading specialist. If I just use this knowledge in the classroom to be a better reading teacher, it was all worth while. The essence of it is, when I decided to start this journey it was only because the school system was paying the tuition, not because I had an overwhelming desire to go back to school, or learn something new, or even to challenge myself.

As the journey progressed, my mother made her transition, I had to opt out of the first class of the program (this is the one I am taking right now). My marriage went by the wayside the end of that year and I stated the program in January, as a completely bereft person. Taking classes with some of the best women I know kept me sane--forced me to think of something beside my own pain.

The rest is history--I discovered coaching--hired a coach or two--enrolled in coaching school and am now truly living a new life. Coaching others is my way of giving back. I want everyone to know, no matter what you think you know about yourself, there is so much more untapped inside. There are dreams and adventures, days of peace and days of bliss.

Today is a day of bliss-I completed something I never dreamed I wanted, but as the coursework went on, I was learning so much about who I am and can do. A celebration is in order!

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

- Sally Koch

You can impact more people than you'll ever know

Too many people sit on the sidelines of life waiting for that one great opportunity or the chance of a lifetime. We seldom realize that while we are waiting, we are missing the small opportunities to make a difference that surround us in our everyday lives. For example, you could pick up the litter on a street that you travel often, help someone carry her groceries to her car, or offer to help a child read a book. Of course, this list could go on and on. Your small action could make all the difference in the world to someone and you may never know it. Don't sit around and wait for the BIG CHANCE because you never know...one of those small opportunities might turn into the next chance of a lifetime. sparkpeople healthy reflections

Every conversation you have with others is a chance to be the one ray of light in their lives. Calm voice, non-reactionary, impartial witness to their story, encourager, cheerleader, supporter of vision. A smile and eye contact--It's amazing what that will do for someone's heart.

What have you done this week? Do you take the time to look around your surroundings in the hurry of the day? Who is in your immediate vicinity? Do you look at them? No, I mean REALLY look at them? What do you see? How about in the landscape? I've taken to picking up paper towels in the restroom on the floor. I mean how hard is it to put it in the trash? The next person in the door will appreciate it. Maybe the fact that the floor is clean will encourage them to make sure their trash makes it in the bin.

A kind response to an e-mail. We choose how we set the tone in the world. Be the change, be the calm, be the light that brighten the world.

Happy Thanksgiving--I have so much to be greatful for! Hey! You're reading my blog!

Taking the Path to Personal Growth

When you stand still, you reject the struggle, and you refuse to change and grow. Ultimately, you reject fulfillment, happiness, the dance for joy and everything else that is eternally good.

- Matthew Kelly, classical actor and game show host

Action is the only way anything ever gets done. Sitting around and waiting for life to happen to you will only guarantee one thing: that you're not going to end up with a life you love. By waiting, you can react to what's tossed your way and nothing more. It's easy to take a passive approach to life without taking chances. It's easy to fall into a rut and do the same things the same way all the time. Change is sometimes hard, but it's change that will reveal all the wonders that life has to offer. You can break out of your set ways by taking action. Try doing the same thing a different way. Jump in with both feet and learn something new. Ask a friend to teach you a skill they're good at. Grow as a person and your world grows with you. Sparkpeople.com (healthy reflection 11/16/08)

Rejecting the struggle--for many years I was an expert at this! I thought I was rejecting what didn't want. Life eventually threw me three hard balls in a row. The last one knocked me out. The only way to get back up was to change. And learning to embrace change saved my sanity.

When I first hired a life coach, he would give me a challenge, and I would reply, "I don't know if this is REALLY what I want to work towards." His reply was, "It doesn't have to be your final goal, but taking any action is better than none. Even if it helps you decide what you don't want to do."

I often felt paralyzed to decide what I wanted and how to get there. Baby steps. When I thought of different options, I began to listen to my intuition. I learned to feel the reaction in my body, and choose the one that would light me up the most.

My second coach helped me think up ways to be accountable to myself. One day she said to me "It's your ___n life! Ask for what you want and need." That became a new mantra for me. It's my ___n life. I get to decide what I want in it! If you have a desire to make changes in your life, it IS possible. Take action now and adjust as you go. Embrace change--Take action--Life is not set in stone--it's ever changing and evolving.

And hey, hire a coach if you need one! They want what you want for yourself and will help YOU take action to get it.

Overcoming obstacles one at a time

Fall seven times. Stand up eight.

- Japanese Proverb

Your goals may not come easy. There is no accomplishment without work, and no "win" without something to beat. It's easy to get discouraged when roadblocks appear--in fact, it's only natural. You've invested time and emotion into creating the perfect plan, and then something has to come along and muck it all up. Sometimes, though, all you have to do to beat that barrier is to get back up and move forward again. Obstacles are like the Wizard behind the curtain--they're a lot less intimidating once you see them up close. Next time you take a step back, don't let guilt pile it on top of your previous "stumbles." Just take two steps forward and you're still farther along than you were before. It doesn't matter how many walls you face. You only have to get the better of that last one. www.sparkpeople.com healthy reflections

For most of my life I was not one to set goals or intentions. I lived life on a daily basis--reacting to the good and bad, the fear and the doubt. Not much of a way to make progress. Not to say I didn't learn lessons along the way--Boy, did I learn some hard ones!

It wasn't until I had nothing to lose, that I had to guts to start living authentically. First I had to clarify my values. Just what did I stand for? I visualized my future life--perfect in every way and looked backwards. How did I get there? What was I doing? How could I work towards that life now? Working with my coach I started taking some baby steps. I used to cringe when he said take action this week. Often I wasn't sure this action was what I needed to get my ideal life, I was paralyzed by what if this isn't the right way to go, I'll have wasted, time, money,...But eventually I learned-- I'd be one step further along the path. I'd know what I didn't want if it didn't work out. I've graduated to if it scares me I want to try it. Because I know that 9 times out of 10 the wizard behind that curtain isn't as scary as I thought. Baby steps--just do it!

Are you afraid to try or are you afraid to fail?

To swear off mistakes is very easy. All you have to do is swear off having ideas.

- Leo Burnett, advertising pioneer

A well-lived life is not for the timid. The world was never meant to be approached with extra caution and fear of making mistakes. Kids know that you have to jump in feet first and be willing to take some lumps on the head if you're going to have any fun. When did we stop trying new things? Why did we stop taking risks? In large part, we're afraid of messing up. We've settled into our comfort zones and don't want to look like a fool to ourselves or others. What's the price we pay for our pursuit of perfection? No growth, no sense of discovery, few real experiences. The sacrifice isn't worth it. Are there points in your life that you wish you could have back because you didn't pursue an idea or a new interest? Those chances are gone forever--but you'll have more in the future to take full advantage of. It's been said that most people don't learn much that's new past their 20s. That's an awful long time to stay stagnant. The only mistake you should be afraid to make is not trying. sparkpeople.com healthy reflections

Lumps on the head. How many of us learned our lesson afterward or did we require a few more wacks? Jump off the cliff--out of the safety zone--guess what? Sometimes when you jump, you find out that it wasn't such a long way down. It was just an optical illusion. Ya never know unless you try. So go ahead, take that watercolor class, lead a teleconference, or go bowling. want something bigger? Stepping out of the zone may mean saying "No, I can't do that for you right now. Maybe another time.", speaking to your boss about a well deserved raise in a confident manner well thought out reasons why you are so valuable to the company, or start investigating a new line of work, if that is where your heart is. I'm learning, if it's a little exciting and yet a little scary--Try it...You might like it!

Living according to your true values

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.

- John Locke, philosopher


The best intentions matter little if your daily life doesn't reflect those values. How can you make sure that your thoughts and actions match? Good or bad, your values are shaped by your actions just as much as they do the shaping. Actions that are true to your values build a stronger personal foundation that others can see. Why are the memories of our greatest personal and public heroes so powerful and timeless, long after they're gone? They stood for something. They were living, breathing examples of the values they prized. It takes courage, a belief in yourself and strong determination. But it can be done. Do one thing today that shows the world what you believe. Do one thing that you know is right. Do one thing that would make your hero smile. Sparkpeople.com

A huge shift in my life happened when I clarified my values and decided to live in alignment with them. Things I wanted started falling into place. I got more of what I wanted, things seemed to "flow" more easily. My fears about life's uncertainties lessened tremendously. Without fear standing in the way, I was able to ask for what I wanted more easily (not in a "gimme" kind of way), but in a respectful gracious way. Acting from a place of honesty and grace--being the change I wished to see--made me realize that everyone just wants to get their needs met. It doesn't means someone else is right or wrong---more or less. They just are.